“The cultural bias toward the waking state as ‘real’ and any other state as ‘unreal’ – and therefore unworthy of attention or study – exists as a mental block for many. Yet if we assume that little can be learned from any state other than waking, we largely ignore any state other than waking and thus perpetuate the bias.”
Robert Waggoner: Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self
Do you ever have a recurring dream that seems to prey upon your greatest fears? I do. If those dreams are real and vivid enough – and if I let them – they can cast a shadow over the entire next waking day. Here’s one that is particularly anxiety-provoking. I give a hundred or so speeches every year. So you can imagine how disconcerting it is for me to wake from a dream where I have showed up late for a presentation where I have no idea of what I’m supposed to be speaking about or what I’m going to say – not that it would matter much because no one in the hall has the slightest interest anyway.
Now when I have this dream in any of its many variations I practice what I think of as Directed Dreaming, my own version of lucid dreaming (technically, some lucid dreaming experts would say that it is not possible to “direct” dreams, but this works for me). When I realize that I’ve been playing a part in this subconscious drama in one act, before I get out of bed I’ll reimagine that dream, only in a way that lets me play the hero instead of playing the buffoon. For example, I’ll visualize the group’s leader coming up to the podium and demanding attention, then saying “I regret that our featured speaker Anthony Robbins has been unavoidably detained and will not be with us today.” Groans of disappointment from the audience. “However,” the man at the podium continues with a flourish in my direction, “it is our vast good fortune that Joe Tye just happened to be staying at our convention hotel, and he has agreed to share a few words with us.” Thunderous applause, cheers, and hurrahs. Once more motioning for silence the emcee says, “Mr. Tye warned me that he knows nothing about our conference topic of bovine genetics, but I assured him that we’d much rather hear him speak about values and culture – am I right?” Fade to a rapturous standing ovation as I walk onstage.
Grandiose and ridiculous? Guilty on all charges. But tell me, how would you rather start your day: having awoken from a dream where you’ve showed up in your underwear to give a speech you don’t know to people who don’t care, or to a standing ovation for having been at the right place at the right time with the right message?
- Staying on Top When Your World's Upside Down
- Introduction
- The Laws of Adversity
- The Great Divide – defining moments in adversity
- Carve the statue of you
- The four ways to handle brick walls
- Embrace the 4 personal freedoms
- Get clear about your values
- Align your goals with your values
- Have the courage to pursue your highest goal
- Thank God Ahead of Time (TGAoT) for whatever happens
- Use adversity as a platform for change
- Fear of failure is really fear of humiliation
- Congratulate yourself on being rejected and on failing
- You must overcome your fear of success
- Leadership is most important when the world is upside down
- The flip side of love is loss
- In grief seek comfort - and give comfort
- Imagine your organization as a support group
- Grieve – then move on
- There’s no such thing as false hope
- Practice a healthy humility
- Go off alone somewhere
- In the trials of adversity work on character strength
- Identify the problem behind the problem
- Change your questions
- Make the most of midlife crisis
- Stop doing what isn’t working and try something new
- When you put the pieces back together make the vessel stronger
- Stop thinking about yourself
- Stop ruminating
- Train your doubt
- When one door closes, push open another
- Ignore the nattering nabobs of negativity
- Utilize your gifts
- Hang tough!
- Don’t give in to apparent failure in the middle
- Rescue your failures
- There is no free lunch
- Raise your expectations
- Live into your potential
- You don’t need OPA
- Use DDQs to redirect your actions
- Use EDQs to redirect your moods
- Do good for others
- Practice Rafe’s Law
- Work until your mission is finished
- Bigger problems = better life
- The difference between courageous and crazy is often
- Escape prisons you’ve made yourself
- It’s not personal, permanent or pervasive
- Develop emotional power
- Get real by integrating ego and soul
- Do something!
- Get more sleep and practice Neuro-Attitudinal
- Practice strategic laziness
- Break your addiction to negative thinking
- Transform negative self-talk into positive affirmation
- Erase the graffiti of negative self-talk
- Pay attention to the metaphors by which you create your perception of reality
- Direct your dreams in a positive way
- Interpret dreams to your benefit
- Distinguish between problems and predicaments
- Create rituals
- Playing it safe can be a dangerous game
- Use the 6-A Formula to Create Memories of the Future
- Face the granddaddy of all fears
- Ignore the chatter of the world
- Stop whining
- The Pickle Pledge – a simple promise that will change your life
- Take The Pickle Challenge
- Build up your stamina
- Don’t pick fights you don’t need
- The steepest hills are in your mind
- Turn off the tragi-tainment
- Build upon The Pyramid of Self-Belief
- Act confident to earn confidence
- Stop waiting for someone else to “empower” you
- Take to heart The Self-Empowerment Pledge
- Monday’s Promise: Responsibility
- Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability
- Wednesday’s Promise: Determination
- Thursday’s Promise: Contribution
- Friday’s Promise: Resilience
- Saturday’s Promise: Perspective
- Sunday’s Promise: Faith
- Keep a personal journal
- Pay attention to the patterns in your life
- Overcome your own laziness
- Transform despair into determination
- Enthusiasm is the master value
- Stop awfulizing
- Adopt the Nedlog Rule
- Practice mutuality
- Say Yes to what matters by saying No to what doesn’t
- Write a poem
- Train your brain
- Replace anguish with hope
- Combine ignorant bliss with unearned confidence
- You can be a victim or a visionary but not both
- Work fast
- Caring is the root of courage
- See the world as it really is
- Fear can make you stupid
- Maintain your momentum
- The most important choice you ever make
- Illuminate the darkness
- Get out of stuck
- You cannot change the past but you can rewrite your memory of it
- Turn bad news into the best thing ever
- Write your own horoscope – a Youroscope
- Don’t hit the brakes when you hit the gravel
- Dealing with the energy vampires
- Be productive
- Your trajectory is more important than where you are at any point in time
- Forgive
- Even when the last thing you want to do is to forgive
- Forgive 360
- Stop abusing your imagination with delusions of grandeur and delusions of disaster
- Stop procrastinating
- Create something knowing there are no guarantees
- Get started
- Lost causes are only really lost when you stop fighting for them
- What doesn’t kill you…
- Expect a miracle