“If we hesitate to swallow the bitter losses time inevitably brings us, we cannot enter fully into our humanity. Depression, boredom, neurosis, melancholia are all in differing degrees the refusal to accept loss, to mourn, and to begin again.”
Sam Keen: Inward Bound
There seem to be two basic schools of thought on the subject of depression. To over-simplify, many motivational experts believe that depression is an unnecessary distraction from pursuing your goals, while many psychological and spiritual counselors believe it can be a powerful signal from your subconscious that changes are needed. I think of it as depression of the ego versus depression of the soul.
Here’s one way of viewing your own depression: If it relates to fundamental questions of who you are and what you do, it might be depression of the soul, which should be carefully considered. If, on the other hand, the depression is related to how badly you think you’ve been treated or how hard you’re having to work, it’s probably depression of the ego, which should be transformed into more rational thinking.
Listen to depression of the soul. It could keep you from making a major career mistake. For example, if you find yourself getting depressed whenever you think about all those phone calls you’ve been meaning to make in your search for another job as an accountant, explore whether it’s merely laziness or fear (depression of the ego) or whether your heart is weeping at the prospect of another stint crunching numbers when it really longs to be working with children (depression of the soul).
Depression of the soul could also signal a deeper disturbance – a questioning of your secular, material life and a longing for a more meaningful Quest, a spiritual awakening. Depression of the soul can be anesthetized by finding a new job, putting money in the bank, and filling time with busy work and pleasant distractions. It can only be healed by an introspective and probably painful and lengthy inner searching process.
Don’t try to tough it out if depression or some other disorder is interfering with your career planning and job search. Seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist might help you maintain your objectivity and give you a new perspective. If your physician recommends anti-depressant medication, don’t reject the advice without careful thought and research. For some people, it can be like a tow truck that pulls a car out of a ditch, to be discontinued when the wheels are rolling again.
On the other hand, depression of the ego is often just a synonym for self-pity, for playing the role of the victim. If that’s what you’re experiencing – get over it.
- Staying on Top When Your World's Upside Down
- Introduction
- The Laws of Adversity
- The Great Divide – defining moments in adversity
- Carve the statue of you
- The four ways to handle brick walls
- Embrace the 4 personal freedoms
- Get clear about your values
- Align your goals with your values
- Have the courage to pursue your highest goal
- Thank God Ahead of Time (TGAoT) for whatever happens
- Use adversity as a platform for change
- Fear of failure is really fear of humiliation
- Congratulate yourself on being rejected and on failing
- You must overcome your fear of success
- Leadership is most important when the world is upside down
- The flip side of love is loss
- In grief seek comfort - and give comfort
- Imagine your organization as a support group
- Grieve – then move on
- There’s no such thing as false hope
- Practice a healthy humility
- Go off alone somewhere
- In the trials of adversity work on character strength
- Identify the problem behind the problem
- Change your questions
- Make the most of midlife crisis
- Stop doing what isn’t working and try something new
- When you put the pieces back together make the vessel stronger
- Stop thinking about yourself
- Stop ruminating
- Train your doubt
- When one door closes, push open another
- Ignore the nattering nabobs of negativity
- Utilize your gifts
- Hang tough!
- Don’t give in to apparent failure in the middle
- Rescue your failures
- There is no free lunch
- Raise your expectations
- Live into your potential
- You don’t need OPA
- Use DDQs to redirect your actions
- Use EDQs to redirect your moods
- Do good for others
- Practice Rafe’s Law
- Work until your mission is finished
- Bigger problems = better life
- The difference between courageous and crazy is often
- Escape prisons you’ve made yourself
- It’s not personal, permanent or pervasive
- Develop emotional power
- Get real by integrating ego and soul
- Do something!
- Get more sleep and practice Neuro-Attitudinal
- Practice strategic laziness
- Break your addiction to negative thinking
- Transform negative self-talk into positive affirmation
- Erase the graffiti of negative self-talk
- Pay attention to the metaphors by which you create your perception of reality
- Direct your dreams in a positive way
- Interpret dreams to your benefit
- Distinguish between problems and predicaments
- Create rituals
- Playing it safe can be a dangerous game
- Use the 6-A Formula to Create Memories of the Future
- Face the granddaddy of all fears
- Ignore the chatter of the world
- Stop whining
- The Pickle Pledge – a simple promise that will change your life
- Take The Pickle Challenge
- Build up your stamina
- Don’t pick fights you don’t need
- The steepest hills are in your mind
- Turn off the tragi-tainment
- Build upon The Pyramid of Self-Belief
- Act confident to earn confidence
- Stop waiting for someone else to “empower” you
- Take to heart The Self-Empowerment Pledge
- Monday’s Promise: Responsibility
- Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability
- Wednesday’s Promise: Determination
- Thursday’s Promise: Contribution
- Friday’s Promise: Resilience
- Saturday’s Promise: Perspective
- Sunday’s Promise: Faith
- Keep a personal journal
- Pay attention to the patterns in your life
- Overcome your own laziness
- Transform despair into determination
- Enthusiasm is the master value
- Stop awfulizing
- Adopt the Nedlog Rule
- Practice mutuality
- Say Yes to what matters by saying No to what doesn’t
- Write a poem
- Train your brain
- Replace anguish with hope
- Combine ignorant bliss with unearned confidence
- You can be a victim or a visionary but not both
- Work fast
- Caring is the root of courage
- See the world as it really is
- Fear can make you stupid
- Maintain your momentum
- The most important choice you ever make
- Illuminate the darkness
- Get out of stuck
- You cannot change the past but you can rewrite your memory of it
- Turn bad news into the best thing ever
- Write your own horoscope – a Youroscope
- Don’t hit the brakes when you hit the gravel
- Dealing with the energy vampires
- Be productive
- Your trajectory is more important than where you are at any point in time
- Forgive
- Even when the last thing you want to do is to forgive
- Forgive 360
- Stop abusing your imagination with delusions of grandeur and delusions of disaster
- Stop procrastinating
- Create something knowing there are no guarantees
- Get started
- Lost causes are only really lost when you stop fighting for them
- What doesn’t kill you…
- Expect a miracle