“We have repeatedly observed how easily people can become trapped by their negative assumptions. The worst case is a way of thinking that happens so naturally and usually so fast that people hardly notice. This is especially true during times of change.”
Kathleen D. Ryan and Daniel K. Oestrich: Driving Fear Out of the Workplace
Every time I see a lone cross-country bicyclist go by, I feel a pang of envy. They look so free, so independent, so self-contained. Off to see America in a way that their car-bound fellow citizens never experience it. I’ve spoken with many people about the spirit of enterprise that drives people like this – the adventurer, the explorer, the entrepreneur. Almost everyone has the same reaction I do: admiration, blended with a big dollop of envy.
That being the case, why do so few of us “just do it” – just go out and follow that road to wherever it might lead us? I was recently speaking with a friend who had lost a job. Truth be told, it was the best thing that could have happened to him. He didn’t like his work all that well, and certainly would not have chosen that career but for the big paychecks. Now he was free to try something new. Free, and scared to death. I asked him why he didn’t just break away, follow his heart down the road to see where it would lead him.
“I need a bigger safety net,” he replied. As if having just a little (or a lot) more money in the bank (that’s the way he defined his safety net – more money) would somehow make the fear go away. I pointed out that he’d worry a lot less about his safety net if he would appreciate how close to the ground his trapeze really was. He couldn’t really get hurt too badly if he were to fall. Oh, sure, he might have had to move into a smaller house for a while, or experience the humiliation of going to Uncle Ben for a loan. But there are no more debtors’ prisons in America. And chances are the closest he’d ever come to real starvation is having the pizza delivery guy show up late.
In the world that we are blessed to live in, even if you do fall, you won’t fall far, and someone will likely be there to help you back up if you do. So what is it that’s holding you back from that cross country bike trip, or whatever else it is that you have a secret longing to do? Just do it! The worst thing that can happen just isn’t that bad.
- Staying on Top When Your World's Upside Down
- Introduction
- The Laws of Adversity
- The Great Divide – defining moments in adversity
- Carve the statue of you
- The four ways to handle brick walls
- Embrace the 4 personal freedoms
- Get clear about your values
- Align your goals with your values
- Have the courage to pursue your highest goal
- Thank God Ahead of Time (TGAoT) for whatever happens
- Use adversity as a platform for change
- Fear of failure is really fear of humiliation
- Congratulate yourself on being rejected and on failing
- You must overcome your fear of success
- Leadership is most important when the world is upside down
- The flip side of love is loss
- In grief seek comfort - and give comfort
- Imagine your organization as a support group
- Grieve – then move on
- There’s no such thing as false hope
- Practice a healthy humility
- Go off alone somewhere
- In the trials of adversity work on character strength
- Identify the problem behind the problem
- Change your questions
- Make the most of midlife crisis
- Stop doing what isn’t working and try something new
- When you put the pieces back together make the vessel stronger
- Stop thinking about yourself
- Stop ruminating
- Train your doubt
- When one door closes, push open another
- Ignore the nattering nabobs of negativity
- Utilize your gifts
- Hang tough!
- Don’t give in to apparent failure in the middle
- Rescue your failures
- There is no free lunch
- Raise your expectations
- Live into your potential
- You don’t need OPA
- Use DDQs to redirect your actions
- Use EDQs to redirect your moods
- Do good for others
- Practice Rafe’s Law
- Work until your mission is finished
- Bigger problems = better life
- The difference between courageous and crazy is often
- Escape prisons you’ve made yourself
- It’s not personal, permanent or pervasive
- Develop emotional power
- Get real by integrating ego and soul
- Do something!
- Get more sleep and practice Neuro-Attitudinal
- Practice strategic laziness
- Break your addiction to negative thinking
- Transform negative self-talk into positive affirmation
- Erase the graffiti of negative self-talk
- Pay attention to the metaphors by which you create your perception of reality
- Direct your dreams in a positive way
- Interpret dreams to your benefit
- Distinguish between problems and predicaments
- Create rituals
- Playing it safe can be a dangerous game
- Use the 6-A Formula to Create Memories of the Future
- Face the granddaddy of all fears
- Ignore the chatter of the world
- Stop whining
- The Pickle Pledge – a simple promise that will change your life
- Take The Pickle Challenge
- Build up your stamina
- Don’t pick fights you don’t need
- The steepest hills are in your mind
- Turn off the tragi-tainment
- Build upon The Pyramid of Self-Belief
- Act confident to earn confidence
- Stop waiting for someone else to “empower” you
- Take to heart The Self-Empowerment Pledge
- Monday’s Promise: Responsibility
- Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability
- Wednesday’s Promise: Determination
- Thursday’s Promise: Contribution
- Friday’s Promise: Resilience
- Saturday’s Promise: Perspective
- Sunday’s Promise: Faith
- Keep a personal journal
- Pay attention to the patterns in your life
- Overcome your own laziness
- Transform despair into determination
- Enthusiasm is the master value
- Stop awfulizing
- Adopt the Nedlog Rule
- Practice mutuality
- Say Yes to what matters by saying No to what doesn’t
- Write a poem
- Train your brain
- Replace anguish with hope
- Combine ignorant bliss with unearned confidence
- You can be a victim or a visionary but not both
- Work fast
- Caring is the root of courage
- See the world as it really is
- Fear can make you stupid
- Maintain your momentum
- The most important choice you ever make
- Illuminate the darkness
- Get out of stuck
- You cannot change the past but you can rewrite your memory of it
- Turn bad news into the best thing ever
- Write your own horoscope – a Youroscope
- Don’t hit the brakes when you hit the gravel
- Dealing with the energy vampires
- Be productive
- Your trajectory is more important than where you are at any point in time
- Forgive
- Even when the last thing you want to do is to forgive
- Forgive 360
- Stop abusing your imagination with delusions of grandeur and delusions of disaster
- Stop procrastinating
- Create something knowing there are no guarantees
- Get started
- Lost causes are only really lost when you stop fighting for them
- What doesn’t kill you…
- Expect a miracle